Marry me, Darlng by Bill Bowler

INTRODUCTION

Gwen is Roger’s girlfriend. She first met him ten years ago, and they go out together two or three times a week. Now she would like to marry him, but he never talks about marrying. This evening he’s coming to dinner at her sister’s beautiful house. Perhaps he’s going to ask her to marry him tonight!

CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY

Gwen, a woman of about 30

Roger, a man of about 30

PERFORMANCE NOTES

The scene is a big living room, with expensive-looking chairs around a coffee table. There is a mirror on the wall. On the table, there are some cigarettes and a woman’s bag. Gwen is wearing a gold watch.

You will need some cigarettes, a cup of coffee and a ring.
Gwen is lookup at herself in the mirror.


GWEN: (To herself) Mmm, you look beautiful! But what does Roger think? (To the audience) Roger’s my boyfriend, you see. He’s very shy, you know, and very poor. But perhaps tonight he’s going to ask me to marry him. He’s coming here to dinner at my sister’s house. Nice, isn’t it?

She looks around her, smiling. The door opens.

GWEN: Ah, here he is!

Roger comes in.

ROGER: (Looking at her) Oh, Gwen!

GWEN: (Looking at him) Oh, Roger!

ROGER: (Moving nearer) Oh, Gwen!

GWEN: (Looking at him) Oh, Roger!

ROGER: (Moving nearer) Oh, Gwen!

GWEN: (Looking away) Oh, Roger! (To the audience) This is going to take all evening!

ROGER: Gwen, my love.

GWEN: (Smiling at him) Yes, Roger?

ROGER: You know we first met a long time ago.

GWEN: Yes.

ROGER: Nine years ago, I think… Sorry, of course it’s ten. (To the audience) This isn’t easy. She’s very rich and I’m very poor. (To Gwen) Well, after ten years, it’s time…

GWEN: (Looking interested) Yes?

ROGER: It’s time…

GWEN: Yes?

ROGER: To have a cigarette, I think. Have you got one, Gwen?

GWEN: Of course, darling.

ROGER: (To the audience) What a wonderful house she’s got! Everything in here looks very expensive.

She takes a cigarette from the table and gives it to him.

GWEN: Here you are, darling.

ROGER: (Looking at her watch and speaking to the audience) What a beautiful gold watch!

GWEN: What did you say, darling?

ROGER: Oh, it’s your hands, darling. They’re wonderfully, wonderfully beautiful!
GWEN: (To the audience) What’s new about my hands? (To Roger) Oh Roger, you say the nicest things!

ROGER: And your mouth, Gwen…

GWEN: (Coming nearer) Yes, Roger?

ROGER: It’s a beautiful flower – Oh! (He moves quickly away, and Gwen puts her hand over her mouth.)

GWEN: (To the audience) I had some garlic for lunch! Roger, you’re very handsome, you know.

ROGER: (Shyly) Oh, am I, Gwen?

GWEN: Oh yes. Your ears! I love your ears! They’re very – interesting, (To the audience) And very big.

ROGER: Oh Gwen!

GWEN: Your eyes! I love your eyes! They’re very – blue. (To the audience) And very cold.

ROGER: Oh my love!

GWEN: And your hair! I love your hair! It’s very – brown. (To the audience) There isn’t much there.

ROGER: Oh darling! Well, after that I must say…

GWEN: Yes, Roger?

ROGER: I need a coffee. Could you get me one, Gwen?

GWEN: Yes, darling?

ROGER: To bring you a little something.

He takes a ring from his pocket.

GWEN: Oh Roger, a ring! How beautiful!

ROGER: Do you like it? (To the audience) It was very expensive!

GWEN: Of course, darling. (To the audience) Oh dear, it looks so cheap. (To Roger). Roger, how exciting! Are you asking me…?

ROGER: Yes. (Taking; her hand) Marry me, darling!

GWEN: Er, well, now you ask me, I don’t know.

ROGER: You don’t know?

GWEN: Well, this is all very sudden, Roger. I need some more time to think about it.

ROGER: (To the audience) Oh no! That’s bad! I need her money. (To Gwen) How much time do you need?

GWEN: Well, I can give you an answer next week.

ROGER: But next week I’m going to New York!

GWEN: New York! How exciting!

ROGER: It’s only for work, you know. (To the audience) Of course, Susie’s going to be there! I always see her when I go to New York! (To Gwen) Oh Gwen! Please give me an answer before I leave!

GWEN: You see, Roger, you need to change a lot, before I can marry you.

ROGER: Change? Me? Change? But how?

GWEN: Well, to begin with, you must stop smoking!

ROGER: (Looking at his cigarette) Stop smoking?

GWEN: And you must stop drinking coffee!

ROGER: (Lookup at his coffee) Stop drinking coffee?

GWEN: And you must stop going to New York, too!

ROGER: Stop going to New York? (To the audience) Does she know about Susie? Oh dear!

GWEN: So, Roger, what do you think? Can you change?
ROGER: What can I say, Gwen? I need you. (To the audience) And I need her money! (To Gwen) I’m going to stop smoking. And drinking coffee. And going to New York. (To the audience) Sorry, Susie!

GWEN: All right, Roger. I can give you my answer here and now. My answer is yes!

ROGER: Oh Gwen, darling!

GWEN Oh Roger! (They kiss.)

ROGER: (To the audience) Now I needn’t think about money anymore! I’m going to have lots of money, my darling wife’s money! (Laughing)

GWEN: (To the audience) Roger doesn’t know this, but I’m not rich at all! I like expensive things, but I haven’t got much money. When I tell him, what’s he going to say? (Laughing)

They go out, hand in hand and smiling happily at each other.

  • THE END –